I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
