Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
