Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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