she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up under a house in Key West
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
