you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Enjoy the penises
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize