I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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