Can i not drive my cunt home
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
