Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
my liver is dry heaving
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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