how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
