I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize