So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
