are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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