I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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