WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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