before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
