I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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