She is in my trunk
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we're so committed to being not committed
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
