Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
