Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
