Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
