Please, let me fuck your mom
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How's work?
Spinning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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