Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
