turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
