Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
