Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize