He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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