the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
