Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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