i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
