one two three fourrrrnication!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
