All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize