Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
