im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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