At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize