can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
