Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
