Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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