She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
