Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't turn off my feet"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
