My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
God I need to hump something, right now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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