3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
