Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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