The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
barbara walters just said penis...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
