I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
