either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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