how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just puked most of my soul out..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
