Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
