Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
