i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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