is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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