Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
