There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
