Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
