the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Randomize
