HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
