You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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