WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My feet surprised me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
