the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
