like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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