I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
