Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
