just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
