Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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