i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
