I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
