is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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