My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
