So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
as a side note pls kill me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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