So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize