Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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