Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
