I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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