I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
