Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
