Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
