that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
