Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
