she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
